robyn reads books

Back at the beach with Clarice.

I underlined this entire passage almost immediately:

Noticing. Reality. Not understanding.

A sensation before thought.

All things that challenge me and confuse me these days. 

And it feels so connected to The Stranger I wrote about recently. 

She’s exploring how much of consciousness happens before we have an explanation for it. Even before we have language for it.

And on noticing:

What we see.

What we select.

What we feel physically before we understand what it means.

Clarice is so capable (or courageous) of staying inside an experience rather than explaining it. She’s comfortable here, maybe. I’m in such discomfort almost all of time.

But am learning not to rush to understand.

And as far as noticing, well, I notice too much. 

I then turned the page and found this:

“Nothing is more difficult than surrendering to the instant.”

Of course. Because she has impeccable timing. (Or could be because I’ve noticed I pick her up when life gifts me challenges.)

I’ve been thinking so much about consciousness, about noticing, about the space between sensation and thought. And now she is talking about what happens when you stop fighting that space.

She surrenders in words.

Clarice, how do I just flow? I cannot crack the code. 

I wish to surrender. 

Wishes.